In a song titled, Deep Reverence, rapper Big Sean says:
“I realize all my setbacks were inside of me
In high school, I learned chemistry, biology
But not how to cope with anxiety
Or how I could feel like I'm by myself on an island
With depression on all sides of me”
How do we overcome negative feelings like anxiety and depression so we can perform at our best and live our best lives?
Motivational speaker Tony Robbins says we can change how we feel by doing 3 things:
1 - Resolve Your Inner Conflict - Identify and name why you are feeling the way you are feeling.
2 - Create a Compelling Future - Have a vision that excites you.
3 - Control What You Can Control - Do what you can to help make the vision a reality, and let go of the things you can’t control.
Inner conflict is anything that is stealing your peace or joy or that is keeping you from feeling, doing, or becoming something you want. Robbins says we need hope, a compelling future that something great is going to happen to us and through us to
He then says there are 5 areas we need to check or fix to make those 3 things happen:
1 - Fix Your Body
2 - Fix What You are Focusing On
3 - Fix Your Language
4 - Create a Compelling Future
5 - The Power of Identity
Fix Your Body
Try this: Describe the posture of a depressed or anxious person. Where are their head and shoulders? How is their breathing? Do they talk strong or soft, fast or slow? We can easily describe unconfident people because we have all felt what it feels like. You can instantly shift your mindset when you shift how your body is being used.
Sit, stand, walk, and talk like a confident person, and you will experience changes in your mindset and mentality.
Watch Robbins talk more about this here: How to Break Your Negative Thinking
Fix What You Are Focusing On
Try this: Look around the room and see everything that is brown.
Now, close your eyes and tell me everything you saw that is red.
When you close your eyes, you will still see a lot more brown than red; when you open your eyes, you will see a lot more red than brown because it is now top of mind.
Our brains are deletion devices - they delete most of what is going on so it does not get overwhelmed. Our minds are getting hit with 1,000s of pieces of information every second, and they can only focus on so much at once, and it deletes everything else, you get what you look for, and you are only experiencing what you are focusing on.
When we are happy, we delete all the things we are worrying about, and when we are anxious, we delete all the things we could be grateful or happy about.
Fix what you are focusing on. Find and focus on the good.
Fix Your Meaning
Meaning creates emotion.
Think About This: When a coach, teacher, leader, or manager gives you feedback, how do you take it? Do you think they are being disrespectful, too hard on you, challenging you, or trying to help you?
Your answer to that becomes your story and will impact how you feel. Whatever you do in your head affects your body, feelings, and emotions.
Dr. Jim Loehr says how you interpret what is happening to you impacts your experiences even more than the experiences themselves. Our beliefs, values, and rules determine whether we experience heaven or hell inside, and it’s all internal. We can’t control our external world and what happens to us, but we can control our internal world.
Start focusing on the good things in life and the things you are good at, and look at every obstacle and setback as an opportunity to get better
Create a Compelling Future
A compelling future is a vision for your life that's so powerful that it inspires and motivates you to make it a reality.
Fear is so powerful because it makes you think you don’t have a compelling future, but we can deal with a difficult day if we have a compelling tomorrow.
Having a compelling future, and hope that something good is going to happen to you and through you, is the fuel that makes things happen and the energy that keeps you going.
We have always had challenges, and there will always be challenges. A compelling future is a hope that is bigger than your challenges. Have a vision that is bigger than what you are facing now, and the hope will energize you and fuel you to do today what your future self will thank you for.
The Power of Identity
Try This: Ask yourself, “What am I here to serve, what am I here to give, and what am I being called to in life?”
Robbins says to identify who you are beyond your problems and who you want to be. There is something inside you that is bigger than anything that has ever happened to you or could ever happen to you. Tapping into and finding that part of you is how you get to sustained strength.
Know who you are and what your purpose is. Know what you are best at and what brings you the most joy, and do that as often as possible and impact as many lives as possible.
SOMETHING(s) TO THINK ABOUT
1 - What is your biggest takeaway from this post?
2 - What is one inner conflict that is holding you back or making you feel fearful or anxious?
3 - How can you create a compelling future? When you overcome this conflict, what is the best thing that can happen?
4 - How can you use your strengths to help you make this compelling future a reality?
For a printable version of this post, click here: Tony Robbins: Overcoming Stress, Anxiety, and/or Depression
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